ពាក្យម្ដាយ ទំនាយគ្រូ

“ពាក្យម្ដាយ ទំនាយគ្រូ”

This Proverb takes a profound look at the relationship between a Mother and Son/Daughter, and/or a Teacher and Student. Actually, it is specifically addressing two factorial circumstances that may be an  inviting outcome based on what “Mother’s Words, or Teacher’s Curses” are when a mother or a teacher is being forced to slip out their words -- It’s believed to have happened when they are under certain extreme physical and/or mental torments brought upon by an Ungrateful Child, or a Student!  Two Factors are: 

1) Gratitude -- កតញ្ញូគុណ ឬកូនដែលស្គាល់គុណឪពុកនិងម្ដាយ

2) Ingratitude -- អកតញ្ញូគុណ ឬកូនដែលរមឹលគុណឪពុកនិងម្ដាយ

Khmer Culture reflects two main beliefs; Buddhism and Brahmanism, also known as Hinduism in today’s world. This expression casts back those values.  Buddhism believes in “Good and Bad Karmas”. Brahmanism shares that same belief in addition to  “Good Blessing/Incantation” and “Curses/Spells”.

A mother is the person who bears her fetus in her womb, carrying it out to its mature term, going through an indescribable pain called “Crossing a violently stormy river, or “ឆ្លងទន្លេ” in Cambodian term. She could give her life to the life of her newborn during this turbulent tribulation. Some mothers did. No father has ever gone through this trial!  

Mother’s body is not just a source of nutrients to foster life of her fetus while it’s still inborn, but continues through after the birth as well – Mother’s body-produced Milk! It’s the mother’s body that sustains and nourishes “Life”!  From the childbirth onward, both mom and dad share their respective roles raising that offspring of theirs to maturity! (Based on two parents composition only. Some families are mom-absent, or dad-absent, or both).

FROM MOTHER’S WOMB TO THE WORLD 

Mother’s physical and mental endurances have been subjected to extreme tests – The Tests of Love and Compassion. Whether her child is born complete as a perfect little human being or otherwise, mother would still welcome her young with an unconditionally open heart filled with love until...  a grown up “Ingratitude” is infesting it beyond her endurance…

Human being is one of the living creatures who share mother earth’s habitats along with other creatures. Non-humans share a lot of senses with human counterpart except one – a sense or ability to differentiate “Right” from “Wrong”, “Good” from “Bad” – Rational intelligence asset. 

This Expression, as previously stated, is taking a look into a Mother-Child Relationship (Adult Child) that invokes this very expression “ពាក្យម្ដាយ ទំនាយគ្រូ”

GRATEFUL CHILD (Gratitude) -- កតញ្ញូបុត្រ ឬកូនប្រកបដោយកុសលគុណចម្ពោះឪពុកម្ដាយ

Very high percentage of Cambodian Children are born, raised and grown up into this category. There is a Buddhist Lecture likening our parents to “Domestic Gods”. A Grateful Child would  revere his/her parents and treat them as such – With a Profound Honor​/worship.  

Even after all these physical pains that’s sometimes accompanied by mental hardship, mom’s love is rarely run out, and is always there for you!   When you kneal down with a simple plate of dish, fruits or any items to offer her during certain occasions, what would mom say to you? what would she do? When you travel far on a trip, and you bid her farewell… What would mom say or do? and, Why? – Blessing, She is blessing you with all her heart-felt love for your personal peace and safety, good health and prosperity, and triumph against any foes or misfortunes. Because, “Mother’s Words” could be heard, and may as well be fulfilled mystically. The power of mom’s words of pray is genuine and strong! – “Brahmanism/Hinduism”. 

UNGRATITEFUL CHILD (Ingratitude) -- អកតញ្ញូបុត្រ​ ឬកូនប្រកបដោយអកុសលគុណចម្ពោះឪពុកម្ដាយ

Actions of a Child under this category are just the​ opposite.  Here are some to ponder upon:

1) Instead of bringing a smile to mom’s face, he brings tears to it.

2) Instead of making mom’s heart at peace and joyful, he breaks it and smolders it.

3) Instead of being grateful for her love and sacrifices, he travesties it, rejects and nullifies it!

Attributes briefly illustrated above do exist. They are some of the characteristics of the អកតញ្ញូបុត្រ.  Constant verbal and sometimes physical abuses inflicted upon mom by this type of a “Despicable Child” would eventually draw, or prompt some intolerable words from mom reprehensively…

It’s rare, but it’s not unprecedented that that kind of child would respond – Slapping mom and such. Perhaps, that’s when mom’s words getting unleashed cursedly against her own child who is “Detestable to deserve being cursed”. It is under this extreme excruciating pain  that mom’s love and her compassion may be depleted momentarily and instantaneously right at that moment! Whatever curse(s) mom cast could not be undone!  Adverse consequence(s) may be realized!

Same scenarios applied toward “Teacher’s Curse(s)” in this expression. “Teacher” refers to those who teach “Superstitious/Magic Scripts” – Brahmanism/Hinduism. 

Since this is not scientifically proven but rather a relegious belief, “Sacred Words/Mom’s” that she is making pleas to the “Unknowns” to help grant her child “Peace and Safety, Good health,  Prosperity and Triumph”, could also be mystically granted in other forms as mom appeals!

B Boy

11/19/2009